Well, I have returned from my 150-mile struggle through the French Alps, and by some miracle, considering the state my arteries were in, I survived.
Fear can make a man do many strange things. Force him to run across a bullet-strewn battlefield to drag a critically wounded friend to safety, or cower, shivering in the protective arms of a foxhole. Tear his recently-created masterwork into pieces or just not start it in the first place. Rig an election. In my case it was far less dramatic. I started doing some exercise.
OK, so now the hard work could really begin. My cholesterol was high, too high. The years had finally caught up with me, like an über-healthy Tommy Lee Jones facing down an obese Harrison Ford. “But I drink Innocent smoothies...” no longer cut it as a get-out clause.
Up until about a day before my cholesterol test results were presented to me, I had always maintained a fairly positive attitude towards my health.
Filed under TV
‘The Telegraph is my paper. You won’t be too mean about me?’ It’s a rare moment of weakness. For all his bluster, incisive words and sharp suits, the latest victim of Sir Alan Sugar’s extreme recruitment drive, The Apprentice, is clearly concerned about the public’s perception of him. He appears to know that he is not perfect. Who would have thought it?
Filed under Technology
Back in the 1980s, at around the same time as perms, Pong! and Pat Sharpe, consumers could walk into an electrical retailer and be faced with a choice between two video formats - Sony’s Betamax and JVC’s VHS.
Filed under Music
Amid the garish water flumes, miniature golf, unconvincingly-themed bars and slightly creepy rows of endless identical chalets, a remarkable event took place.
I wouldn’t use the word “abject”, but there is no way to view my attempt to give up alcohol as anything other than a failure.
Disaster! I had agreed to give up alcohol for Lent but had completely forgotten about a friend’s wedding.
As soon as I decided to give up alcohol, I wondered what I had done…
Not only am I cheap, but I am also lazy, so I decided to do my Chelsea challenge entirely on the internet. I avoided the panicking crowds, miserable weather and over-eager sales people, and am now free to luxuriate in sloth and parsimony.